I didn't know how painful it could be to be so "unwelcome" by my own family..now i know...
I'm trying hard to be the gal they wan me to be...
trying to make things better for the family...
but they dont see it..efforts not recognised nor appreciated... Fine...
Anyway this always happens once every few months..
Not trying to say if who doesnt treat me well or whatsoever...
anyway it really makes no diff to me alrdy...
家。。。未必是最温暖的地方。。。
也绝对不是我的避风港。。。
人的心就是偏向左...
我始终是个需要爱的孩子。。。

Labels: disappointed, disapproved, disgusted

Taking the train reminds me of those days...
Things we did and places we went...
Eventhough the feeling is not there anymore...
I'm happy and grateful for the memories of those times...
Thinking of them soothens a tiring heart...
Brings me calmness and reminds me the feeling of being loved...
By someone i once loved before...
Memories are what is left between us...
Sweet Memories
Thanks...
=)
Leave out the bad ones though...

I'm leaving for Bangkok tomorrow noon, coming back on 18th march... Hope the situation there's better now... Saw on the news these few days abt the riots between the red and the yellows...and i heard its quite dangerous there...but i'm still going..with my family.. not that i'm afraid of death or something... i always believe when my time is up, its time to go...but if it's not, no matter how i try to end my life also no use... Lol...hmm...kinda emo alrdy... Anyway yea...speaking of the trip..i've neva been to thailand before..so i hope to see things that can really make my eye pocket stretch big big..hahas.. =D

Went somerset today...watched Dear John...it's a really nice movie.. Not like what i expected...eventhough there are only those few actors and actresses and the settings are limited, the whole movie is simple and heartwarming... especially the part when the father lied on the hospital bed with the son sitting beside him reading the letter the son wrote.. Wanna know more then go watch the movie! =)

听完你说Goodbye之后 我自己掉眼泪
自己那么用心 那么投入 到底为了谁
你总是说 不必太过 太过在乎谁
这样只会 令自己 越来越累
每天醒来我都 告诉自己 要少爱你一点
好让离开那天自己可以 好过一点
可是一天不见 我就在夜里 梦见你好几遍
醒来的时候 才发现你已不在身边

每一个女孩都期待 能拥有爱
能够被人爱 不受伤害
我对你的爱 我不明白 何时变成了依赖
每一个女孩都期待 能拥有爱
Never say goodbye 不要再分开
I’ll never make you cry I’ll treat you right
Feel the love & close your eyes

想让你明白 对你的爱 就像深 深的大海

Sometimes i'm just very saddenned by actions done by my friends..those that i truly hold dear to my heart.. All these years..our friendship..cant even hold a single candle to the relationship with her bf for 1 to 2 years... Its really disappointing to see us going down the rock.. So many ppl who cared and loved her...Probably she still cant see us cuz she only has eyes for the bf... Fine if problems were not told to me..i take it that she doesn't wanna bother me since i'm busy working... But when it comes to serious probs, why am i not informed or not told about it..? I feel kinda useless being her friend..when i'm suppose to be there for her, i'm not...as much as i really want to..
Many things she really "cannot" understand and "cannot" see.. Love from the parents, friends and relatives.. Was so worried for her upon receiving her msg...and so saddenned that i only got to know about her plans 2 hours before (a really last minute info) not once but twice... I feel so tiny and "transparent" to her... Are we not worth her attention??? Our friendship for 4 years...where did she leave our memories at???
I believe she may hate me or blame me for being so much of a kpo..interfering in her life or even her family problems...But it is only through us can her mum feel safer and less worried.. We are not trying to bad-mouth her bf... Its the way he portray himself infront of the elders.. In fact, i spoke up for him before.. in the end, what i got was him asking her not to be so close to me...isn't that funny??? He WAS my friend...but not anymore since the day he asked her to leave us.. In other words, i DO NOT see him as someone i know cuz i alrdy dunno what he's thinking and why is he behaving in that childish and stupid way...of being the "controller" in their relationship..restricting my friend to do certain things and if she don't listen to him, he'll throw unnecessary tantrums...not even behaving like how a man should behave... I try not to probe about her relationship cuz i don wanna remind her of the painful things she went through...and i also know she don really wanna tell me..that's why i din ask abt it...unless she wanna tell me.. Actually not only her, my other friend as well...i know she's going through some uncertainties but she dont seem to wanna let me know either..as if i would kill the bf...wadever...
I dont care how my friend feel anymore if she were to see this..since my feelings were not even considered in the first place...Treat others like how you wanna be treated... I did put in alot of effort in maintaining this friendship... Anyway, it takes time to see who's truly good to her...let time prove it...till then she'll know...i hope...
Stupid me waiting so aimlessly for your return to us...

I dreamt of him again yest...that's the best thing that happenned to me this week....

我们静静的坐着，
我靠在你的肩膀睡着了。
梦到的是心里面的另一个他。
当时的我和他，
也曾经像我们现在这样。

回想当时的我，
总是很愿意表达对他的爱意，
虽然他不常说出那三个字，
我却感觉万分幸福。
把每一天都活得像是最后一天。
到最后，爱上了却放不下，
才发现原来我只是他的半份幸福。。。

回到现在的你，
爱着一个还深爱着他的我。
你总是很愿意表达对我的爱意，
虽然我不常说那三个字，
你却感觉万分幸福。
把每一天都活得像是最后一天
到最后，爱上了却放不下，
才发现原来你也只是我的半份幸福。。。

感谢这几年来你对我的宽容，
对我的耐心和忍耐，
就算是我无理取闹的耍赖，
你还是依然继续等待。。。

Went to meet Ruby, Ivy, Mui & Gail on tues for dinner... As usual, we couldn't gossipping the moment we met.. Haha.. As the saying goes..3 women makes up a market.. There were 5 of us there only that Gail was a lil bit too quiet...

Yep.. Anyway, we decided to have dinner at Dhoby Ghaut so apparently we meet at PS and went for dinner at The Cathay.. We went up to the highest level and headed straight to a restaurant-Astons' Specialties (or whateva name it is called) cuz Ivy suggested that we go there for dinner since it looks quite good and none of us tried before.. We were quite shocked to see the long queue infront of the host area..But still decided to wait and queue since we are alrdy there despite the fact that Ruby was dam famished alrdy... The waitress came to take our order while we were waiting (so that our food can be served SHORTLY when we get our table).. So the 5 of us happily ordered and waited patiently outside the restaurant..

20 minutes later, we finally got our table..fair enough.. No air-con seat, no cushion seat, cuz too many ppl, fair enough... We took the alfresco seat...Sat down and waited as we talked and updated each other abt things happenning recently... 10 minutes later, the waiter sent us our cutleries and utensils.. Shortly after, we requested for ice water, after the waiter got our order, the other 2 guys at another table called for her also..and also requested for water to be served..

10 minutes later, the same waiter served the ice water..to the 2 guys first..instead of us.. (At this moment i tot we were suppose to get the water first? Not a matter of whether i'm kiasu or not..They should serve ppl as a first come first serve basis right? I mean, that is what i practice in The Cafe Cartel last time and i'm sure most F&B industry would stick to the margin)... Ivy said cuz we have more ppl...so the 2 guys got served first..easier to serve 2 ppl instead of 5... Whatever...

So we waited for our ice water and realised they were taking too long to get the basic stuffs served.. Called for another waiter to get our plain water... Waited again... For 20-30 minutes we waited, all that was served was the fork and knives and maybe some spoon plus a BILL standing in front of us slot in the holder... Fine...

Waited again, no ice water no food... So Gail went to check on our order...and was told that the food was ready but no one served it to us... We were all so pissed off with the service over there... We waited soooo long for our food yet the first thing they serve us is the bill? I worked in restaurant before, so i know how it feels like to be complained..but that dinner there was the worst one i had among the restaurants i've been to... After much 'complains' to the crew, our food got served...COLD... The only thing that was still hot in all our plates was Ivy's Baked potatoe.. The rest were neither hot nor even warm... I really had a very bad dining experience over there..and i wont ever patronise that restaurant's outlet again...(heard there's one more outlet..forgot where alrdy...but i hope the service there is much better =))

Labels: Lousy service lousy restaurant...

Headed over to Darren's house on sat to celebrate baby Jacqueline's 1st B'dae... Enjoyed myself ova there...Finally got to meet Hw after dunno how long...Wahahahahahas... Jacqueline is reeeaaallyyyy cute to the extent i wished i could carry her home... Lol..! (Shhhh, not too loud if not i'll get a scolding from her very idiotic papa).. It is really a great joy to be there, seeing how happy Darren and Karen are..together with their cutie pie... From a few yrs ago when they were together and broke off...and den got back together again..till now, both well matured and stable..i really feel happy for them.. Me, bud and euneh were so envious of them... Most of my friends are getting married...and starting their family soon...Lol...i think its a little bit too early now...but to each his own... One day i hope i can be like Darren and family..seeing Jacqueline grow day by day is definitely a joy for both of them...i believe everyone who were there that day sensed the un-contain-able happiness in the family...I really admire Karen for her courage to overcome all the problems they faced.. That's probably how great a mother's love could be... =)

The perfect shape for Love to exist is to be in the form of a circle...no end...

Labels: Sweet dreams =)