Week 5 only...and school's getting boring...especially when i'm in my class la..they are so damn fake..and they only suck up to people who are of use to them...bootlickers i can say..i hate these kinda people man..really eh...but my pals in class are really forgiving enough to accept those hypocrites...and i really have to give them two a big thumb up.. i just cant tolerate people with the mentality to make use of others...during exam period or when report is due in a few days time, you'll see them..Yl this, Yl that...oh my, if i were YL, i think i would ask all of them to line up, and give every single one who made use of me a fucking big slap on the face...during the holidays, you don even get a single msg from them asking how you've been or stuffs like that...i hate school...or perhaps i've neva been looking forward to resume lectures and tutorials... Modules this sem is definitely 'challenging'... Took two test this week..and i think i am sure gonna score damn badly.. i've got many reports not yet done and they are damn irritating....worse thing is we got separated with our own group members...Dunno why for no reason, i got so angry with myself during FPM today(one of the most sucking module i had to take)... suddenly feel that i shouldn't even be studying in a decent poly for now...kept telling myself to just give up on studies and concentrate on work... i don't even have the rights to study...in the first place.. Couldn't help it..but i feel really helpless with my studies..and it seems like no one understand how i really feel... i dunno..for how long more i can hang on before i get banned or failed in my exams..but my 2nd year modules really suck big time.. I know it's not nice for gals to say things like that.. But i really cannot take it any longer...sometimes i just wish to throw all my notes away... I know at this period of time, i cannot afford to focus on studies... might as well give up... But the contradicting thing is i feel that all my efforts that i put in during o' levels will go into waste if i give up just like that.. studied so hard just to get a place in poly and i'm thinking of giving up now...silly...? i know my course will guarantee me stable income in future..(provided if i score well enough) i want to hang on...till i graduate...make my dad proud of me...give him a good life so that he can retire and enjoy life...also give my future family a good life..so that my kids can lead a better life too.. I mean, if i ever will have my own family and kids, i would want them to focus on studies rather than having to work and study at the same time...but given the situation now..it's difficult... Sometimes i really wonder..why women have to study so hard just to earn money for themselves...just get married and they can stay at home to look after the kids...wait for money to drop on them la...just like what my mum is doing now...although some times it means that mama will get all the stupid nonsense from their kids...but think again..if they marry a good guy who has stable income, then don have to study like crazy liao ma...maybe i'm abit old-fashion in this thinking..but it's because of stupid studies that really make me think that way.. if today, my results are so damn bloody good...will i think in that way then...?????