It's good to get back on my feet again...(again)...i think maybe the best solution for now is to forget the unhappy memories and start everything all ova again...(again)... Dunno if this is a good choice but i really feel better this way. At least i wont be lying to myself time and time again...and (again).. Being emo is not the real me...certainly not something that i want... After this sem, i'll be going for my CPTC training for 6 damn long weeks...follow by attachment or FTP in school... Imagine me travelling to Jurong East mrt every morning at 7.20 sharp... 7.20's the time i gotta reach...not leave my house eh...what a wonderful course i entered... And the training period...will be damn torturing i guess... From what i know, we gotta wear ''overall''...something like a jumper suit covering the whole body from head to toe pls... The whole piece of cloth will have to be taken out if we were to go toilet...I dunno how am i gonna tide ova that period man...goodness sake...!

Training yest was very advance and tiring one...like what gab said...awesome yet tiring class...it was indeed tiring and awesome... There were soooo many advanced techniques that we did..i guess i'm just plain lousy for those techniques... Although we did some other advance ones before...that sensei from cairnhill...every movement and techniques he showed neva fail to amaze me... Only after 10 minutes in 1st class...i told my jnr..i feel like dying...cannot tahan... And she...lol..also down there panting like mad... my hakama became so heavy...(not because of the sweat)..because i was tooooo tired to continue...after coming out from first class, both my legs are burning...i can feel the heat trapped inbetween my gi pants and hakama...so terrible that i have to keep fluffing it...lol... Soon after...second class...didn't think too much about being tired...i just went into the dojo... Few seconds later...the thought came to my mind....omg...sure worse than first class sia...how am i gonna survive... And to my surprise, i didn't feel exhausted...as compared to what i've got in the first class...but was still tired of course...

Guess yest training was too advance for me...too tiring...my whole body macham cannot move...when i woke up today... Had cramps while sleeping in the middle of the night...the feeling was so damn 'shiok' la... lol... But i'm not the worst... somebody got a sprained in his ankle...after second class...sooo serious that he could barely walk..after class...i had to walk with a rabbit...lol... I'm not being cruel here...but...lol... i really dunno how to help...The leg was so swollen...omg...i think i'll cry if i were him la... This is a lesson to learn..next time don partner voilent ppl during training when advance techniques are taught... Else the consequences would be too much to bear...

Today's not a very good day... Just got scolded by PEM for failing his test...i did very very badly... He was disappointed he said...i expected myself to kenna scold from yest liao... Can only blame myself for not being hardworking enuff...was quite disappointed with myself too...comparing my results with my classmates...During my sec school times....i wasn't like that... i did all my revision and work on time without teacher's nagging...i was ahem ahem...a good student..eversince i enter poly... This book worm in me died...my grades...kenna affected greatly like as though there were some virus in my thinking..causing me to become a retard when it comes to studying...totally not the real me..Hmmm...from today onwards, no going out, no working..i mean from next week), lesser tv...cannot don have..., no day-dreaming or distraction during revision, no happy cny for me, no visiting, no lao yu sum, no movie, lesser trainings...(already very little liao..T_T)... After this sem...everything will be loose again... I need my book worm back...for this sem at least...! Heh...gotta go study liao... ;) Thanks for reading... :)