我一直在等一個人,等一個我心中最完美的人.

The bad thought came around again... There were just too many problems unsolved. It is really very difficult to face all those unwanted problems alone... But no one could share. Death might be the only way out... Mentioning them again reminds me of what i still have to go through, havent gone through, might not be able to go through... I AM TOTALLY DRAINED, TIRED, SICK OF LIVING! If only God can hear, why must it be always me... Eventhough i might be fortunate in some ways..why must the unfortunate outwin the fortunate things i come across? Some things are better to be left unsaid..and somethings...i dunno how to go about saying..so forget it... I tried to be someone who projects herself as cheerful, happy-go-lucky, a person who sees problems in life as peanuts.. But there are some limits i know i cant cross..some problems i cant solve... Running away from reality, yes i am.. I wish i could die at this very minute... I know..ppl may find me stupid, childish...writing this post to complain about the problems...you might be thinking.."chey, who doesn't have problems? Everyone got problems ma. So emo for what...?" Yea...i thought of these before...i tried to console myself..that i'm not the only one suffering from all these nonsense.. Told myself that i'm stronger, that's why i am the chosen one in God's plan, to kenna all these pile of shit...but within that pathetic of single-sided console..hatred won and frustrations took over.. I AM A FAILED PERSON in LIFE, FRIENDS, FAMILY, FINANCIALLY, STUDIES, CCA, whatever you can think of... I dont mean to say this..but i f***ing feel like crying for as long as i can... Till my cornea breaks..and then blind.. Ppl wont expect much from the disabled then i guess... I am definitely not doing some self-pitying shit stuffs here.. Just wanted to vent some frustrations off...

In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here...